Is it me? 5 Phrases to use in a breakup

2 min read

When it's time to end a relationship, it can be hard to find the right words. If you’re looking for a way to break things off and be a little more creative (and kind) without using clichéd expressions such as “It’s not you. It’s me,” keep reading. Remember that words are powerful and choosing the right ones can make your split a little less painful.

Use “I’m no longer emotionally invested" instead of “I’m not in love with you anymore."

Perhaps, you weren't in love or maybe you’ve just fallen out of it. Either way, honesty to your partner is important. But don’t worry about being too honest. Telling someone you’re not in love can be a bit of a shock to the system. Use this expression instead to be truthful without being too harsh.

Use “I need more freedom in my life” instead of “I’m feeling smothered."

One common reason for a breakup is that you and your partner have different expectations. If the person you’re dating wants to hang out 24/7 and you want something more casual, remove that friction from your life with this gentle letdown. Make sure you don't add the words “right now” to your breakup or he or she will decide to wait until you're ready to continue the relationship. If he or she promises to back off, be respectful and set them free. Having him or her adjust to suit your expectations will only result in two unhappy parties.

Use "I need something different than what we have" instead of “It’s not you. It’s me."

Although saying, “It’s not you. It’s me," might be a little cliché, the sentiment behind it is a good way to approach your breakup. Own your part in the split and call out what’s making you unhappy. If your partner asks specifically what you need in order to be happy, be prepared to answer, but also be firm that you don’t expect your partner to change to meet your demands.

Use “We want different things" instead of "Things are going too fast."

Truthfully, this expression is best deployed when you see the train heading toward marriage town and you know the person you’re with isn’t the one you want to be hitched to. Say “sayonara” in a sweet way using this tactful expression. If he or she promises to wait until you’re ready, you might need to be more direct and explain that you’re not sure you’ll ever be ready to commit (with him or her).

Use “I can’t see a long-term future for us" instead of “You can't get your act together."

Sometimes people are just at different stages in life. You might have an exciting job opportunity across the country or are thinking about going back to school and you don't see your current partner making the life adjustment with you or believe your partner to be at a different stage in life. If there’s an obstacle and you don’t see a way for the two of you to overcome it, this is a nicer way to cut the cord.

Obviously, any breakup should be handled with care and a personal touch. Always be direct and truthful and focus on why you’re unhappy instead of specific things about other person that are making you unhappy. Most importantly, be clear about expectations post-breakup and try to close the window to a future together. Think about your words carefully and you’ll help ease your collective broken hearts.

Photo credit: Alina Kruk/ Shutterstock

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